A Month of DDP Yoga: What’s it like so far?

I started my first week of DDP yoga and I loved it. The first week changed a lot I tried to cross my legs and I could. I’m so glad that my flexibility is sort of coming up and developing. I’m in this program I finished my first month and I am ready for more of myself, my true self to come through. I felt that I hadn’t lost a lot on the scale but I feel smaller and am much more accepting of myself.

I’ve started to add things like running cardio to the program and I’m finding it’s especially if you do like the other workouts besides like the scheduled program. It’s very very hard and it’s a lot of the workouts are very strength-focused and it’s not just focused on flexibility. You’re holding poses for a very long time like if you do like a squat you’re doing it for like at least 20 seconds or holding a push-up when you go down. With my weight it’s a little harder, adding more cardio like walking and running helps to round out my workout I have an indoor track at my school so I start to use that as well. it’s very thrilling actually for me to be a part of my change and to be able to transform myself and to know that I’m responsible for my actions and behaviors. What I do and what I think has a huge impact on my health. That’s one of the reasons why so many people have so much shame about weight is because like it’s all on you. It’s like no one’s forcing you to eat, no one’s forcing you not to exercise, no one forcing you to sit down and watch a movie but it is you who is making most of your daily decisions. You can’t blame it on a relative you can’t blame it on a doctor. For some, it could be they like to eat but I know and recognize that it is a behavioral pattern. I feel like the behaviors that I have around food it’s because of the household stress I experience. Most of our issues in life mostly have to do with what my parents did or didn’t do for us. But one day you have to realize that your actions are on you and not them.

I realized I’m a physical being. A big black man with a burger in their hand and that’s it and they make assumptions from that. we all have our own thing and this is mine so I’m owning my eating disorder. I’m not clinically diagnosed but I'm owning this for myself and I’m taking responsibility for what I do from here on out. Two weeks ago I started to see a therapist about my eating, talking about things like relationships, how you’re feeling and sexuality, and all these different things. It helps you to know that there are people who are out there you can rely on and receive support from. It doesn’t always have to be your family. Family without judgment or bias is hard to come by.

I realized that I spent most of my life digging myself into a hole. And it’s time for me to leave that behind. I watched an interview with TD Jakes and he was talking about how we tend to get comfortable with our pain and make what we went through a part of our identity. He said pain is just a stage in the process of self-improvement. And I’m turning the page on a new chapter.